


Not While I'm High

by BrennaBuns



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Drug Use, Fluff, Getting Together, Hotboxing, Kissing, Love Confessions, M/M, it's marijuana tho
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-20
Updated: 2016-05-20
Packaged: 2018-06-09 16:00:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,944
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6913807
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BrennaBuns/pseuds/BrennaBuns
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dex gets high with Nursey for the first time. When Dex is high, feelings come out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not While I'm High

**Author's Note:**

> All characters belong to Ngozi, author of Check, Please!

“What is that for?” Dex asks Nursey who’s pulling out his tobacco grinder. The grinder has some stickers on the cover, little smiling fruits in pastel colors on top of the grinder’s original image of some tattoo-style picture of a rose.

“You put the weed in here,” Nursey replies as he places the clump between the tiny points, “and then you do this,” he continues, placing the top onto the grinder and twisting it. “This is easier than picking it apart with your fingers. I’ve done that before and it sucks super hard, bro.”

“But why do you have to do it like that? Like, break it apart, I mean. Can’t you just smoke the whole clump?”

Nursey smiled to himself. This was Dex’s first time smoking pot and although he was happy to share this experience with his best friend, Dex clearly didn’t know anything about weed. He found his purity so heartwarming and was even a little proud to be the one with Dex during his first time. 

“I mean you _could_ smoke the whole clump at once, but the point is to get _high_. By separating the clump you get more surface area to smoke, bro. Plus you wanna savor this moment and take your time. It’s not like we’re going anywhere.”

Dex fidgets in his seat while he watches his friend stuff the divot of the small, glass pipe with the ground specks of pot. The pipe was simple: only about four inches long with beautiful turquois and yellow spirals in the glass. The piece of glass seemed to beam under the moon’s light, changing color just slightly.

Nursey could sense how tense Dex was, and he honestly couldn’t blame him; Nursey had suggested they hotboxed in his car and although it was dark outside and in a secluded section of the street, Dex was still uneasy. Nursey felt personally responsible for Dex’s first time—he had to make sure that Dex was doing okay throughout the entire experience. Dex deserved to have a good trip, he thought.

“Chill,” Nursey said softly, looking up into his friend’s eyes, “we’re close to the dorm so even if anything happens we don’t have to go far. Plus no one goes down this street, and it’s not like anyone’s gonna care. Besides, Shitty smoked pot all year last year in the Haus, and he did it all during the day, and now he’s in law school.”

Dex’s shoulders sank just slightly as he let out a small sigh, smiling at the thought of Shitty when he was stoned. “Yeah, just… are you sure this is safe? You can’t overdose, can you?”

“Dude, I dunno what you’ve heard about weed, but it’s literally a _plant_ , not a _drug_. It’s natural and it’s not like it’s laced with anything—this is medical shit. Plus you’d have to smoke, like… a thousand pounds within an hour or something to overdose. You won’t get any lasting side affects from this and you can’t get addicted to it. Trust me.”

Dex gave a small smile. He never would’ve dreamed actually smoking pot, much less with Nursey. He never really was interested in doing it, and even used to be against it altogether before he came to Samwell. “Okay.”

“Okay? You ready to start? I’ll go first so I can show you.” Nursey held the pipe up to his mouth with one hand, his other hand ready to ignite his lighter. After giving a basic explanation, he took a hit from the pipe, demonstrating what he had just said. After a few seconds of holding it in, Nursey blew the smoke out of his mouth slowly, the white cloud illuminating against the dark interior of the car. He seemed lost in the sensation for a few more seconds before turning to Dex, holding out the pipe and lighter for him to take it.

Dex positioned the pipe in front of his lips, and after a few seconds of contemplation finally took a hit. He took a small breath in just like Nursey instructed him to, and waited a few seconds before blowing out. Dex let out several small coughs immediately after exhaling, and the coughs lasted for almost half a minute. 

He breathed in and out forcefully after the small fit and turned to look at Nursey who was already taking a long, heavy hit. “S-sorry. I wasn’t prepared for that.” He let out a few more coughs then said, “Oh god, the back of my throat is burning.”

Nursey waited several seconds to respond, exhaling the smoke through his nose. “It’s chill, man, don’t worry about it. The same thing happened to me the first time I smoked pot, and you’re not used to it. It’ll get easier though.” He gestured towards some water bottles he had brought that were on the floor. “If you drink some water it’ll help the burn.”

After drinking some water they continued to pass the pipe between each other; Dex took small, short hits while Nursey took much longer, experienced ones. After the contents of the bowl were finished, leaving nothing except ashes, Nursey slid the pipe and lighter into his front pocket. The boys let the weight of their bodies sink into the backseat, their vision hazy from the smoke trapped within the car. They lay there motionless for several minutes in total silence as the effects of the hemp flooded their bodies. 

Time seemed to stand completely still; Nursey couldn’t tell how long they’d been sitting there before he finally decided to say something.

“Hey,” he said, voice low and calm. He continued to let his half-lidded eyes stare straight ahead.

“Huh?” he heard Dex say, but it felt like Dex was 10 feet away instead of right beside him. Dex wasn’t moving either, his body cemented to the seat.

“You okay?”

“Yeah.” Dex paused then added, “This is nice.” There was even more silence before Dex continued, “If my mom knew I smoked marijuana she’d kill me,” then began to giggle.

Dex’s giggles were infectious and before he knew it, Nursey was giggling too. Their giggles escalated into full-on laughing, and as they laughed the boys leaned closer to each other.

As the laughing began to die down, Nursey piped up, “Oh my god, I remember this one time my mom caught me super high and threatened me if I ever did it again, and, uh…” Dex leaned forward with anticipation. “…I can’t remember what she said she’d do.”

Their laughing escalated again, and between gasps Dex called Nursey a dumbass which only made him laugh harder.

Dex turned to Nursey, still laughing, and said, “You’re such a dumb nerd, oh my god. And you kept getting high after that!”

“Yeah!” Nursey replied with the biggest, dumbest smile in the universe.

Eventually their laughing died down for good with Dex wiping tears from his eyes afterwards. “Oh man,” he breathed, “how’ve you survived for so long?”

“Lucky, I guess.”

There was a small silence between the two when Dex began, “I’m glad I decided to do this with you.”

“Oh yeah?” Nursey asked, turning his head to stare at Dex.

“Yeah… I was offered to do it sometimes in high school with my friends, but… I dunno, I just never did it. All of my friends turned out to be assholes anyway.” Dex’s eyes were fixed downward. “Sometimes I wonder if I’m an asshole. Like, I think about it a lot. What if people just find me annoying? I know I can be uptight and shit but I don’t want people to think badly of me. I’m trying not to be so uptight, but I can’t help it sometimes.” 

“Hey…” Nursey began, placing his hand on Dex’s shoulder, “you’re fine, man. It’s not like you’re hurting anybody or trying to hurt people. Like, I know I can be annoying as hell, but I also know that the people around me are fine with it, ‘cause they know I don’t mean any harm.” Dex lifted his eyes to meet with Nursey’s. He looked so confident and vulnerable at the same time but his hazel eyes were large and vacant. Nursey continued, “You’re uptight but you’re still cool, you know. Don’t sweat it.”

A small smile tugged at Dex’s lips. “Thanks…although you are annoying as shit.” 

Nursey smiled brightly, feeling drunk off of the haze around him. They continued to talk, sometimes very seriously about life, about their place in the universe, about their futures; sometimes lightheartedly, telling stories about their lives in high school, telling each other dumb jokes, and talking about the things in their lives that they loved. Dex couldn’t believe what was happening to him in this very moment—he was high out of his mind with a guy he’d never imagine being friends with. And the weirdest part is that he _liked_ this. Being able to momentarily escape from his worries and troubles of the real world felt amazing. He felt as if he was about to float away into the heavens, and the thing is, he’d be totally fine with that. As for Nursey, he’d done this more times than he could count and yet every time he lit up felt like the first time all over again. There was something strangely intimate, he discovered, about getting high around only one other person. It felt as if the ground crumbled beneath them and there, in this moment, did only the two of them exist.

They continued to talk and eventually their conversation segued into Dex asking: “What was it like being queer at Andover?” Their bodies were now facing each other as they talked.

“Hmmm,” Nursey sighed, reminiscing, “Well, since so many rich kids went there, it was pretty conservative. I mean, there were a lot of queer kids, but most of them weren’t out to their parents. Bullying was really passive-aggressive; like, people would talk about me behind my back and take pictures of me because I was open at my school, but I never got beat up.” Nursey smiled bitterly. “It didn’t help that I was a brown kid, either.” Nursey’s voice trailed off. He still seemed completely calm, but there was something in his eyes that said otherwise. Dex didn’t want to push it any further.

Dex felt like he could tell Nursey anything as long as he was high; he felt as if he could be completely vulnerable around him when they were both in this state, and it would be okay.

“Um…” Dex began, “for what it’s worth, I’m really sorry that happened to you.” The words just seemed to fall out of his mouth as he continued, “…At least you never got beat up or anything. My school was conservative, too, but kids would pick fights with me over the stupidest shit. One time I punched some kid in the nose ‘cause he called me Irish. I dunno, now that I look back on it, it seemed… really fucking stupid. Just all of it.” Every word that left Dex’s mouth felt so far away as if he wasn’t the one saying them. Internally he focused on the way his heart beat in low, rhythmic thumps, and swore he could feel the blood coursing through his veins.

Without even missing a beat he calmly blurted out: “At least you got to be openly queer at your school, Nurse.”

For several moments there was silence. Nursey’s features completely softened and his lips parted slightly in disbelief. He was shocked, but purely because Dex’s confession was so sudden, and he never would’ve pegged Dex as anything but straight. He felt ashamed for assuming anything about his friend’s sexuality.

Dex continued to speak, but in a quieter tone, “Like… I don’t know what I would identify as, but… I know I’m not straight.” He smiled, as if to himself. “I had a crush on this kid on my hockey team. His name was Aaron and I thought he was so fucking cool. But now it’s Aaron all over again…”

Nursey finally spoke. “What do you mean by that?”

“God, I feel like this is such a cop-out,” Dex was still smiling, even giggling to himself but refused to meet Nursey’s eyes still.

“Pffft, what?” Nursey began to giggle too, but only because Dex’s giggles were so infectious.

Dex finally raised his head to level with Nursey’s; his hazel eyes were large and pleading and also relaxed, glazed over with a pink tint. He looked a bit serious, even infatuated? There was a long silence between them again as they stared into each other’s eyes, neither one looking away.

Bluntly and without warning, Dex finally said, “I have a huge crush on you.”

Nursey felt his chest tighten but refused to look away. Dex never made any hints, any moves, or anything at all to suggest that he was interested in Nursey romantically. It would be a lie if he said he’d never thought about hooking up with Dex, but now Dex made it clear that he was interested in much more than that. Nursey wasn’t sure what to say and remained silent.

“Oh my god,” Dex moaned, covering his face with his hands, “I feel so fucking lame!”

Nursey felt the sudden need to touch Dex. “No, it’s okay!” he said, taking Dex’s warm hands into his own. “That’s… bro, that’s super sweet of you.”

The red on Dex’s face matched the hue of his hair. “I’m sorry, I just… I’ve liked you for a while now. I feel like such an asshole that I couldn’t tell you when I was sober!” 

In this moment Dex looked so small and vulnerable to Nursey, and… _cute_. Now that his feelings were out there and Nursey could look at Dex as more than a friend, he felt humbled and excited from his sudden confession. Dex was good-looking, but aside from that he was smart and reliable and kept Nursey grounded. 

“Hey, everything’s chill.” Nursey’s voice was so calm and tender, causing Dex to look into his eyes again. “You’re not an asshole for telling me when you’re high. Some people need a little push in order to say what they need to. Just promise me you’ll still like me even when you’re sober, okay?”

Dex gave Nursey’s hands a light squeeze, his voice sounding hopeful and energetic. “So, um, does this mean it’s okay for me to like you?”

“Of course,” Nursey chuckled. “I wouldn’t mind if you asked me to be your boyfriend, either.”

Dex let out a small gasp which caused Nursey to chuckle even more. Nursey felt like he was in a dream a thousand miles away from here, but the flush on his cheeks and the tightness in his chest brought him back to earth. Dex almost couldn’t believe what he was hearing and seeing; he finally worked up the nerve to tell his crush how he felt and his crush actually liked him back.

Nursey pressed his forehead to Dex’s, becoming entranced in the way his lips looked under the moon.

“Um,” Dex whispered, “I want to ask you to go out with me but I wanna do it when I’m sober. I don’t wanna be weird when I ask you.”

“That’s fair enough.” Still holding Dex’s hands, Nursey pulled his head away to look him in the eyes, saying, “I don’t know about you, but I’m fucking starving. Do you wanna order some pizza?”

Dex smiled sweetly up at his love. “Yeah, I’d like that.”

\--

About an hour later, the large pizza Nursey had ordered arrived; thank god there was a 24-hour pizza joint around the corner that did deliveries around the clock. When the pizza arrived to the dormitory, Nursey was the one who picked it up from the lobby—Dex wasn’t good at hiding his high, so he couldn’t go downstairs with him. While Nursey waited in the elevator, he smiled to himself when he thought of Dex on their way to the dorm earlier. Dex couldn’t walk a straight line to save his life in that moment, and held Nursey’s hand the whole way for “support”. Nursey didn’t mind holding his hand even though Dex’s palms were rough and callused from years of hard work and being a handyman. 

When he reached the room, Dex was aimlessly flipping the channels on the television. His head immediately whipped around when he saw Nursey, letting out a dramatic “Thank god”.

The pizza was demolished in less than 10 minutes—both boys had a severe case of the munchies. Between bites they talked about what was on TV at this hour and what each of them liked and didn’t like. Nursey couldn’t stand late night talk shows, and Dex couldn’t stand the adult cartoons that were on at this hour. After another round of vicious laughing they both decided to just watch Animal Planet since there was a marathon on of this show that focused on puppies.

There wasn’t much room on Dex’s narrow twin bed, so they ended up just cuddling, Nursey laying on his back as Dex laid halfway onto him and half onto the bed, resting his head onto Nursey’s chest. Neither of them were really paying attention to the St. Bernard puppies on the TV, too distracted by the warmth of each other’s bodies. Dex listened to the hum of the heartbeat beneath him, and found the courage to speak up.

“Nurse?”

“Hmm?”

“Can I kiss you?”

Dex lifted his head so he could meet Nursey’s gaze. Nursey couldn’t help but smile.

“I thought you didn’t want to do anything until you were sober.”

Lifting himself off of Nursey’s chest, Dex shifted his weight onto his forearm, his face just inches away from his crush’s. “I’m scared that you won’t wanna kiss me when you’re sober.”

Behind those large, hazel eyes, Nursey could see the longing Dex had for this moment, which only attracted him more. He couldn’t believe how vulnerable and honest Dex looked under the low lamp light in the room.

“I promise I’ll still like you when I’m sober,” Nursey whispered, curling his pinkie finger around Dex’s. “We can talk about it all day tomorrow when we’re both sober, okay?”

With a small “okay”, Dex gently cupped the side of Nursey’s face and leaned in, pressing his lips softly against Nursey’s. They were just small, eager kisses that tasted faintly of weed and pizza, but they were completely and utterly intoxicating. Nursey wrapped his free arm around Dex’s waist, pulling him in closer for a deeper kiss. Dex slid his tongue into Nursey’s mouth with a small whimper; his body began to fidget and grind against Nursey’s as their kissing became more intense. The entire room began to feel hot, but neither of them dared to pull away to remove their sweaters.

After several minutes of making out, Dex pulled back to catch his breath, panting heavily against Nursey’s mouth. Nursey leaned in to place delicate kisses along Dex’s neck, down to his collarbone. He wrapped both arms around the other’s waist, rolling Dex over so that he was hovering above his partner. Nursey continued pressing soft kisses up and down Dex’s neck, occasionally sucking and leaving light pink marks against the pale skin. Dex balled his fists into the fabric of Nursey’s sweater, letting out small pants and gasps between the kisses.

“Um, w-wait,” Dex began, slowly pushing Nursey off of him. “I’m not really comfortable doing anything besides kissing. Kissing my neck is okay, but I, um, just wanted to let you know.”

“That’s alright, whatever you’re comfortable with,” Nursey said, placing a gentle kiss on Dex’s forehead. Dex felt so whole and safe in Nursey’s arms he wanted to cry.

Their kissing continued but only for several minutes longer before Dex admitted he was beginning to feel exhausted; he was still high, but as his high began to wear off he became sleepier and sleepier. They positioned their bodies to fit on the bed with Nursey spooning Dex, and as Dex closed his eyes and drifted into a deep sleep, Nursey placed tender kisses on the back of his neck.

\--

Dex was the first to wake up in the morning with a stiff neck and a dry throat. At first he didn’t know where he was until he felt the warm body pressed against his back and saw the pizza box on the floor. His stomach ached from eating so much so late in the night and from being hungry the next morning, as if his stomach inflated and then deflated—a strange sensation left over from the night before. He straightened out his body and stretched, accidentally waking up Nursey behind him, who in turn just squeezed Dex’s waist tighter. Half asleep, Nursey placed a small kiss on the back of Dex’s neck, his stubble rubbing against the sensitive, pale skin. Dex shudders at the sensation, letting out a deep and contented sigh.

After a few minutes Dex decided to sit up, turning over as he did so to face Nursey. Nursey lifted his heavy eyelids to look up at Dex with his arm still wrapped around the other’s waist.

“Morning,” Dex greeted, as in disbelief that his crush was still there beside him.

Nursey sat up as well, a soft pop coming from his spine. “Good morning.”

Dex felt his heart race and his cheeks flush. He felt embarrassed from the night before but also relieved—he _actually_ got the chance to make out with Derek Nurse, although he would’ve preferred to do it if he wasn’t high. Nurse was in _his_ bed, who spooned _him_ all night long. Dex wanted to speak, but couldn’t find any words at the moment, too caught up in his own thoughts as to what he should say.

“Will,” Nursey began, and Dex swallowed his tongue at the sound of his first name. “Just so you know, I’m still interested.”

Dex must’ve still been high since he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “Don’t… don’t fuck with me. I know I was really high but I meant every word. And I don’t want you liking me back out of pity or some shit.” 

Nursey leaned in a little closer. “Hey, I don’t think you give me enough credit. I used to have a thing for you, you know.” Nursey paused, searching Dex’s eyes, then continued, “And I still kind of have a thing for you. The feelings are mutual.”

Dex felt like he was going to melt as his flush ran down from his face to his chest. “Really? Uh, can I ask why?”

Nursey raised an eyebrow and smiled mischievously. “Only if you tell me why you like me after.”

Dex scoffed with a soft smile. “Fine.”

Nursey crossed his legs and turned his whole body to face Dex before he began. “Well, I guess I started liking you since the summer, after that time you invited me on your uncle’s boat—“

“ _What_?!”

“…What?”

“It’s April now and you’ve liked me since the summer?!”

“Well… yeah?”

Dex looked as if his eyes were about to pop out of his head. “Why didn’t you say anything up until now?!”

“Well, I didn’t know you weren’t straight! I didn’t want to make you feel weird because a guy that you used to hate likes you.”

“…I never hated you. You were always just super annoying.” Dex suddenly felt like he couldn’t meet Nursey’s eyes. “You’re _still_ annoying.”

Nursey giggled then went on, “Well, I just saw you on that boat and… I dunno, you just looked really hot. You had this really hot, serious look on your face while you were working and, if we’re being honest here, I really liked looking at your freckles. They’re cute. And we’ve been getting along really well this year and I didn’t want to make you feel uncomfortable so I didn’t tell you.”

“Wow. Um…” Dex still refused to meet Nursey’s gaze. “That’s… Thank you.”

“Hey, I don’t think you understand how hot you are. You just don’t know it ‘cause you can’t see it.”

Both of the boys giggled, easing the tension that had built up within Dex. He lifted his eyes to find Nursey with a wide, dopey grin across his face. Dex pushed his shoulder affectionately and laughed.

“It’s your turn,” Nursey said, entwining his fingers with Dex’s.

“Well, uh… I guess I always thought you were really handsome, but I didn’t really think much about it. I realized I liked you during Winter Screw last semester when you went with that guy. I dunno, I just felt really jealous and I didn’t know why.” Dex squeezed Nursey’s hand in his and started to feel embarrassed, but couldn’t stop talking. “When people would ask you out I would get really jealous and I felt weird about it because I knew I wasn’t supposed to feel that way, but I just did.” Dex looked down again, mumbling a small “I’m sorry” that Nursey could barely hear. Dex’s face felt hot from a combination embarrassment and bashfulness, and leaned forward to bury his face into Nursey’s neck.

Nursey placed his arms around Dex’s shoulders, pulling him in for a long hug. He could feel Dex’s pounding heart against his chest, which only made him hold on tighter. “Well… it’s okay now, isn’t it? There’s nothing stopping us from being together.”

Dex closed his eyes, letting the weight of his body relax under Nursey’s arms. Although he was still wearing the same clothes from yesterday, Nursey smelled warm and comforting, and the smell was intoxicating. If Dex was dreaming, he definitely did _not_ want to wake up.

“Is it possible for me to still be high?” Dex asked, his voice muffled against Nursey’s sweater.

Nursey let out a small laugh, then replied, “No, Poindexter, there’s no way you can still be high. It would’ve worn off hours ago.”

“It’s just… this doesn’t feel real. I don’t want this to end.” Dex lowered his voice to a whisper. “I just like you so much.”

Nursey rubbed his hand gently along Dex’s back. “You know, since we’re both sober, you can still ask me out if you want. You still haven’t officially asked me.”

“Okay, _now_ I know you’re fucking with me.” Dex pulled away, trying to sound annoyed but couldn’t stop himself from smiling. “Fine, I’ll make it official.”

Nursey sat up straight, trying to make himself look as attentive and formal as possible. Dex’s face began to flush even harder, his smile becoming wider and the nervousness tugging at his heart began to dissipate.

“Derek Nurse,” Dex began with a semi-serious face. Nursey lightly bit his lip to hold back a small laugh, completely smitten with how Dex had said his name so officially. “Will you go out with me?”

“Hmm, only if you tell me why you like me.”

“We already went over this!”

“ _No_ , you didn’t say _specifically_ why you liked me. I want to hear your reasons.”

Dex shoved Nursey away half affectionately, half annoyed. “You _are_ fucking with me!” After thinking seriously for a moment Dex added, “Okay, _fine_ , since I said I would.”

His expression shifted to one of seriousness and longing. Dex looked as if he had been dying to get this off of his chest. “I, um… like I said, I think you’re really handsome. And I like the way you smile and laugh, and I like the way your voice sounds. You really irritate me sometimes but I like hearing what you have to say. And you’re always there for me. I don’t know, I just… I like you for a lot of reasons.”

Nursey slouches a bit, re-entwining his and Dex’s fingers again. “I’d love to be your boyfriend.”

Dex feels an incredible weight lift off of his shoulders at Nursey’s words, and his heart clenches tighter beneath his chest. He leans his forehead onto Nursey’s, his eyes focusing on their hands together. His face begins to ache from how hard he’s smiling.

“Let’s go get some breakfast, I’m starving.”

Dex gives out a small, heartfelt laugh. “You’re _always_ hungry.”

“Let’s go get some food before it’s all gone,” Nursey says as he heaves himself off of the bed.

Dex focused on the strange sensation in his stomach left over from being high the night before and felt intensely hungry once he thought about food. “You want to go _now_?”

“Chyeah. Breakfast doesn’t last forever, dude.”

Both of them were still wearing the same clothes from the night before; neither of them had bathed or brushed their teeth since then. Dex let out an irritated sigh. “Fine, but I really need a shower after this.”

The boys slipped on their shoes and made their way into the hallway. Nursey bumped shoulders with Dex and asked, “So since we’re boyfriends now, can I hold your hand?”

“Pffft, you don’t have to ask.” Dex carefully took Nursey’s hand in his own, a light blush spreading across his cheeks.

As they held hands on the way to the dining hall, Dex and Nursey reflected on the night before. They had both said and done stupid things, but it was all in good fun, and Dex couldn’t help but laugh at his stupid high self. This definitely wasn’t the way Dex thought he would get together with Nursey, but in the back of his mind he was grateful that his first time getting stoned ended in such a sweet way. Dex silently bit his lip to reassure himself in this perfect moment that, no, he was not still high.

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on tumblr! My url is that-omgcp-trash


End file.
